I am selling a home built Time Machine. Comes with all specifications,
instruction manual (in pdf format), spare parts and a cup holder. I've
only
used it 2 times, and I have no desire to alter the history nor the future,
thus I want to get rid of this curse I had built in my mom's basement 1
year
ago. The project begun 4 years ago with my friend Raymond Basoon who used
to
work at Area 51 and is currently employed at JPL. We both have degrees in
engineering, interior design, strong typing skills and janitorial
expertise.
When employed at Area 51, Raymond was an assistant to the surgeon general
during 7 Alien autopsies, and also reverse engineered 2 types of crashed
extra terrestrial, cigar shaped aircraft. I had worked at JPL as well,
having been assigned to a crucial position in the mail room. After hours
of
collaboration, Raymond and I concocted plans to built a Time Machine. One
unit only. It is built of Titanium, stainless steel and rubber. The
complex
mathematics needed to calculate various time distortion cycles and
dimension
warps are handled by an onboard computer mounted at eye level. The time
and
date is punched in using a standart telephone numeric pad. Power is
generated from 30 electric motors that have been removed from 10 spd
blenders. The traveler is enclosed in a plastic/tin foil cockpit to
prevent
various dimension radiation waves and time travel fallout dust. The frame
holds a comfortable polyester chair. The unit also includes a CD Player
and
3 speakers. This unit is INCREDIBLE! If you want to wintess your own
birth,
the murder of your uncle or the opening of Expo '86, this delicate, high
tech instrument will blow your mind. I'm not sure this type of technology
is
legal therefore before you buy you have to sign a waver of confidence and
secrecy. I just want to be safe from the CIA and the NSA. If you like to
travel,
the ultimate trip is waiting for you in my garage. SERIOUS replies only
please. If you are interested in the purchase please send a statement of
good health and eye sight signed by your doctor. WE DO NOT DELIVER.
Knowledge of Martial Arts helpfull when travelling. Please reply if you
are
interested in the purchase.

Price  $59, 000
3 day warranty.
Free bumper sticker
2 hour tutorial
I'll also throw in my helmet.

Reply to Joe Biffel.

Disclaimer..... Joe Biffel or Raymond Basoon are not in any way
responsible
for any harm that might come to the travellers way while in the past or
the
future. The potential traveller must remember that during the passing
times,
society and culture has changed in many ways and this might impact the
perception of yourself by others. We suggest that you research the time
era
you're about to travel to thoroughly and dress appropriately to avoid
suspision and trouble.