Amalgamated Press - A truth-terrorist group known
as the Cult of Useful Idiots took credit today for
exploding a gamma-ray bomb that knocked out power
to the entire eastern seaboard. 

This loosly-knit band of crack-pots,
paranoids, delusional whackos and
useful idiots have been responsible for
all kinds of mayehm, mostly plugging
up the alien usenet newsgroups.

Said researcher Sir Arthur Wholeflaffers,
"Yes, this does NOT surprise me that they
are implicated in this horrible deed.

I have been trying to tell the Octagon
(the Pentagon within the Pentagon) about
them for a very long time.  Now they will
have to take me seriously.  In addition,
where the hell did they get a gamma-ray bomb
to being with. I figured they had a slew
of neutron bombs, but this changes the
whole picture.  The Pentagon may
have to counter with the
magnesium-cobalt anti-matter bomb.
Let us pray it does not have to come to that.


End of article!!