Sir Arthur C. B. E. Wholeflaffers A.S.A. <nospam@newsranger.com> wrote
in message news:bkx5b.18555$cJ5.2427@www.newsranger.com: 

In article <bj5vas$sl3$1@pencil.math.missouri.edu>, President, USA
Exile Govt. says...

Forwarded with Compliments of Free Voice of America (FVOA):  Accurate
News and Interesting Commentary for Amerika's Huddled Masses Yearning
to Breathe Free.   NOTE:  Thanks to John Kaminski for this slice
of cutting-edge humor.   --  kl, pp

Eric Walberg wrote:

BorowitzReport.com http://www.borowitzreport.com/ August 26, 2003

RUMSFELD PROPOSES MERGING IRAQ, AFGHANISTAN INTO IRAQISTAN Ten-Lane
Highway Through Iran Would Unite Two War Zones

As part of his long-term goal of remaking the Middle East, Secretary
of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld today suggested merging Iraq and
Afghanistan into one nation, tentatively named Iraqistan. The merger

I have a better idea.

Offer both countries to the Klingon Empire.

of the two nations would result in "significant" savings, Mr.
Rumsfeld said, since the cost of escalating one great big war was
smaller than that of escalating two smaller wars.

To complete the merger, Mr. Rumsfeld said, a ten-lane highway through
Iran would be built by the Halliburton Company at an estimated cost
of $800 billion. Explaining the choice of Halliburton, Mr. Rumsfeld
said, "Halliburton has by far the most experience at being granted
enormous contracts without bidding for them."

Just hours after Mr. Rumsfeld's announcement, President Mohammad
Khatami of Iran objected to the Secretary of Defense's plan,
particularly Mr.

Rumsfeld's proposal to line the Iranian superhighway with Motel 6
and Denny's franchises. Moments after Mr. Khatami's speech, however,
Mr.

Rumsfeld issued a fresh warning to the Iranian leader: "If Iran so
much as obstructs the construction of even one Denny's or Motel 6,
that will be seen as a direct threat to the sovereignty of the
Iraqistanian people."

Mr. Rumsfeld, while stopping short of threatening Iran with war,
said he would not rule out incorporating Iran into a new nation,
tentatively named Iraqiranistan. While some foreign policy experts
worry that an Operation Iraqiranistanian Freedom might spread the
U.S.'s military resources too thin, Mr. Rumsfeld identified what
he called a "huge upside" of such a war: "Instead of three nations
being ticked off at us, there'd just be one."

Copyright ) 2003 Borowitz Report.com