** Announcing the first annual **
** GRAND PRIZE KOOKERY CONTEST! **

On behalf of Hugh, Mr 4X and myself, I hereby issue a challenge to all kooks
and anyone else with too much spare time on their hands. I'll personally
offer a prize of a CD token sent to your home address (or the institution
where you are incarcerated) for the most entertaining theory that links as
many as possible of the subjects on the list below into one vast conspiracy
theory, henceforth to be known as the Grand Unified Theory of Kookdom.
Theories should be at least 500 words long, and should be as entertaining as
possible. No stupid stuff like "They're all on your dumbass gay list". Put
some effort into it guys! If it turns out to be fun we could do it again
next year.

Without further ado, here's the list:

Freemasons
Zionism
The Bible
Aliens
Abductions
Child abuse
Other dimensions
Vampires
Telepathy
Secret scientific knowledge
Reincarnation
HAARP
Reptillians
Dallas and Dynasty (TV series)
Atlantis
Nazis
The assassination of JFK
The Mayan Calendar
The Pyramids
Crystals
Nostradamus
The Knights Templar
Lemuria
Planet X
Communists
MIBs
Iraq
Afghanistan
The Rothschilds
Ariel Sharon
George Bush (both of 'em)
Greenpeace
Liberals
The Columbia disaster
The Challenger disaster
The explosion in Siberia in 1908
The Yeti
Bigfoot
The Loch Ness monster
The Bermuda Triangle
The Nazca lines
The Easter Island statues
Stonehenge
Tibet
Time travel
The Rhodes Scholars
The British Royal Family
The (faked) Apollo missions
Rice pudding
Income tax

...plus bonus points for any other whacko subjects we might have missed.
Closing date 31st December. Winner to be judged by popular acclaim, and
announced as soon as the dust settles. Come on you kooks, here's your chance
to put all that pent-up paranoia to good use!

--
Cliff Smith

"And we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere.
And to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together,
guys."