Lines: 48
Message-ID: <_w%Xb.3368$_4.289@www.newsranger.com>
X-Abuse-Info: When contacting newsranger.com regarding abuse please
X-Abuse-Info: forward the entire news article including headers or
X-Abuse-Info: else we will not be able to process your request
X-Complaints-To: abuse@newsranger.com
NNTP-Posting-Date: Mon, 16 Feb 2004 03:52:10 EST
Organization: http://www.newsranger.com
Date: Mon, 16 Feb 2004 08:52:10 GMT
Xref: intern1.nntp.aus1.giganews.com alt.alien.visitors:417382 alt.alien.research:298293 alt.paranet.ufo:203433 alt.paranet.abduct:32676

UFO Debunkers Finish Up Recruitment Drive//Top Cop Very "Alarmed!"

Amalgamated Press-.  The United UFO Debunkers (UUFOD) recently combed the entire
globe in an apparently successful recruitment drive that will increase their
membership for their obviously twisted cause.  UUFOD's main current activity
appears to be plugging up Usenet Internet Newsgroups which seriously discusses
the extraterrestrial reality.  Head of the Debunker Cult, Capt. Mike Shitley
proudly announced that he was able to recruit fresh blood as well bringing back
some of the old-timers.

Puked Capt. Shitley, "We were amazed that some of the old debunkers were just
wandering around the street in a daze, totally incoherent.  We spruced them up
and brought them back."  Davis listed the fabricators who have returned to the
fold, "We were able to relocate the ho-hum Hutch, the doddering Bryson, the
much-feared Chen-Destabilizers and the feeble-minded Billy Mullin."  Some of the
newer recruits include Potty-Mouth Pete Chumpest, the unintelligible R. Quack,
and the insipid HVDACK.

Sir Arthur C. Wholeflaffer, President of the Alien-Human Contact Agenda put
these actions in perspective.  Stated Sir Wholeflaffer, "What we are witnessing
now is the death throes of the UFO debunker.  Their days are almost over and
they are acting very desperate, just I had predicted they would.  There are 5
stages of the UFO debunker and they are anger, denial, bargaining, depression
and acceptance.  Right now these charlatans are in stage #4, that would be
depression.  The main Cult of Useful Idiots have contacted me privately and they
really want to apologize to the World at large.  Unfortunately those useful
idiots are so far-gone and totally deluded that I had to refuse their offer.
The collective shock to their system may be too great for them and there could
be collateral damage to their Cult.

The Top Cop felt differently though.  Said the Cop, "I would like to see these
Debunkers just give up and turn themselves in.  They should be, at a very
minimum, horsewhipped and then tarred and feathered.  I have heard that certain
ET races refuse to mind-scan them, for reasons we can only guess at."  The
Inspector General listed the names of the Cult of Useful Idiots.  They include
the aforementioned Capt. Shitley, thought to be the ringleader, perhaps shared
with M. Davis.  Other fact-gangsters include ASF-Wipe, anut, THYROID, and EEL.  

Explained the Inspector General, "The pseudo-scientists, phony theorists and
corporate goons have had their days.  Now it is time for ALL MANKIND to grow up,
learn to co-exist with the different extraterrestrial races and more forward
into the future with free-energy electrical systems, anti-gravitic aeronautics,
human cloning and real participatory democracy.  The Pentagon and related
military contractors didn't like those ideas at all.

Compiled from reports by Wolfman Blitzkrieg for Amalgamated Press