Ser RL,

Just to offload some random thoughts...

    toots is best used as a term of endearment, not hyperbole, and
there should not be hyperbolic endearment unless you wish to hurt a
girl's feeling - as you learned long ago

    emotions are physical events; there are no emotions for which there
are no physical observables

    emotions are what people use to describe their self-observables,
where most people never realize that these same observables are
absolutely obvious to a trained / perceptive observer

    to say that you use emotions interally w/o restriction defies your
own physicality and the idea that they leak out is defies the physical
nature of emotions

    control is an illusion in most contexts - in fact I find it only
works in the application of control theory

    serving in uniform is honorable, but attending NVU adds little to
it, and is used as a crutch by those who didn't experience the worst of
it - this doesn't apply in your case, but surrounds you at times, n'est
pas?

    Pink Floyd said that the memories of a man in his old age are the
deeds of man in his prime; as I had to have your Lorre spelled out for
me, tit for tat

    why the deceptions, RL?

    ambivalence is not your complaint - why not state it?  a little
complaint for the exchange of the walk on part in the war for the lead
role in the cage way of being?  a little holy exposition?

    pretending upon your own contratemps / contrariness / diametrical
opposite conceals little and says more

    leave the parrot at the door, dp (wish that you were), put down
your wooden sword, and answer the mail?  no, pull the string.  but do
leave the parrot outside

Earl