Science Conference Disrupted by Kooky anti-UFO Cult//"This Must Cease"
Demands Top-Cop!

A science conference in New York was disrupted today by a group of UFO
debunkers shouting slogans and carrying signs, which read in part "ETs
don't phone home, GO HOME" and "The Cover-up must continue."

Master of ceremonies and top astrophysicist Sir Arthur C. Wholeflaffer
A.S.A. was not amused by the antics of those whom he so aptly
describes as "truth terrorists."

The annual symposium for the American Institute for the Advancement of
Alternative Science (AIAAS) otherwise went off without a hitch.  The
topic of discussions included free-energy generators, anti-gravity
aircraft, human cloning and living with off-world races known as
extraterrestrials.  The ET topic is what set the protestors off.

The disrupting mob has been confirmed to be an American affiliation
known as "The Cult of Useful Idiots."  Their main activities so far
have been to plug-up Usenet alien newsgroups with nonsense and
viciously attack honest UFO researches.

Members of this outlaw cult include the monikers of Hagar (probably
the ring-leader), anut, VD-VAC, NSA spOOk "H", THYROID, R. Quack,
HVDAC, EEL, M. Davis, and P. Charest.  M. Davis, also another
potential outside agitator, has been put on the Federated Bureau of
Intimidation's (FBI) 10 Least Wanted List.

Nevertheless, the meeting ended on an upbeat note.  100% of the
attending scientists admitted that they readily accept the well-
documented facts proving the alien presence, and plan to spread the
word to the general public.  Sir Wholeflaffer stated that "UFO
debunkers will have to join the human race and quit all their anti-
democratic activities.  Or else, there are nice Old German style
"camps" that can assist them in reorganizing their troubled thoughts!"