<
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/TightFit.jpg
<
A PUBIC APOLOGY FROM LARRY KING
<
     Friday night's Larry King Live, featuring Chile mine hero Pope
John XXIII, could not be televised.
     A satellite problem, high over Oklahoma, was responible, probably
caused by a UFO
seen in that vicintiy.
     We regret that millions of you are very disappointed. Imagine how
we at CNN feel.
      Instead of getting the real story of the miraculous events
concerning the rescue of the 33 miners, you got a rerun of a
crappy program our producers should have thrown out long ago.
      CNN is working diligently to correct the  problem and hopes to
have our live satellite feed corrected within the next 24-48 hours.
      Unfortunately, I'm totally booked with guests for the next few
weeks but hope to have Pope John back on my show sometime after
Halloween.
<
==================
<
MINE HERO TO TELL ALL TO LARRY KING
<
    NEW YORK, N.Y. (Rueters) --
The man most responsible for the
rescue of the 33 Chilean miners
will be interviewed on Larry King
Live tonight.
    Pope John XXIII, instrumental
in transforming a tragedy into a
freakin' miracle, will be Larry's
special guest.
    "People think performing miracles
is a snap," said the pontiff. "But an
awful lot of hard work goes into it.
It takes a great deal of practice."
     Larry, who is a King but certainly
not God, believes Pope John might
well be his greatest guest of all time.
     "I'd have to give it some thought."
he told TMZ. "I know I've interviewed
a few really BIG Hollywood stars over
the years. Then, again, it may well
have been one of the many Fat
Ladies who couldn't sing -- or perhaps
one of the many tyrants I've had on."
    Pope John has just begun writing
a book about the mine rescue and
figures, to sell it, he'll need all the
publicity he can get.
<
<        -- MORE LATER --
<
====================
<
AN EARLIER STORY . . .
<
     COPIAPO, Chile  (Rueters) --
The real hero of the Chilean mine
rescue revealed this morning that
he has begun writing a book.
       Pope John XXIII said he already
has a tentative title: "So Far Down,
You Could Almost Feel the Heat
of Hell."
      The pontiff, who died in a hospital
in Rome in June 1963 but appeared
two months later in Pennsylvania
to save two entombed coal miners,
said he is delighted that it already
appears on the New York Timex
Best Seller List.
         Pope John, now 130, hadn't
been seen in 47 years until suddenly
popping up underground to the
delight of the 33 trapped copper and
gold miners.
        The book can be ordered by
writing directly to the Vatican:
<:
Holy Books
c/o The Vatican
1210 All Saints Road
Vatican City State, 00120
ITALY
<
PS: Please include your name,
address, an approximation of
your total wealth, the name
and location of your bank and
the combination of your Safe
Deposit Box.
<
PS: There is an additonal $25
charge for autographed copies.
Add $15 if you want your copy
blessed.
<
=================
<
AN EVEN EARLIER STORY . . .
<
     SANTIAGO, Chile (Rueters)
-- Several rescued miners have
confided to family and close friends
that Pope John XXIII had appeared
to them in the 12th day of their
entombment and said God had
asked him to save them.
     "The pontiff told us to be patient
and that the miracle would begin
when some sort of oil well disaster
occurs in the Gulf of Mexico," one
of the miners revealed.
      "Boy, we were tickled pink when
we learned about the BP oil spill and
the Deepwater Horizon. We knew
then that we'd be rescued."
       Pope John, who had gained
worldwide notriety when he saved
two trapped Pennsylvania coal
miners in 1963, was grinning when
he first showed up underground,
scaring the shit out of one of the
men (an atheist now converted).
      "The first thing the Pope did
was apologize for not bringing
along a dozen large pizzas but
explained that he didn't know if
we preferred all cheese, cheese
and sausage. or all dressed,"
said the survivor.
      "Besides, he was carrying
an armful of Holy Pictures of
imself as well as a copy of the
Hazleton Standard-Speaker from
the day the two Pennsylvania
miners were brought safely to
the surface."
       After giving all 33 miners an
autographed Holy Picture, Pope
John talked a bit about a few of
his other miracles. then told a few
risque jokes to perk up their spirits
while they patiently awaited
contact with the outside world.
     The pontiff also played a little
poker with the men but soon went
broke.
     All of the miners were quite
surprised by how well Pope John
looked for his age.
      "Hell," said one. "He seemed
to be in damn good shape for
a man 130 years old."
<
<     ================
<
This, of course, is all bullshit but I'm
sure even Pope John had a chuckle.
<
Probably God, too!
<.
But what you'll read below is TRUE
<
If it contains a single lie or mistruth,
let God strike me with a lightning bolt.
<                                  -- Ed Conrad
<
DEATH DOES NOT EXIST
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Miracle.jpg
http://edconrad.com/lifeafterdeath
<
If you have a little extra time, you may want to read . . .
<
MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://www.edconrad.com
<
================
<JUST A FEW EUROPEAN NEWSPAPERS
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