<
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   <           LATEST BULLETIN
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   <
   <     By OSCAR SHAGNASTY
   <       The New York Timex
   <
        HERSHEY, Pa. -- Neurologists who
  performed an eight-hour lobotomy on Ed
  Conrad's   brain have identified the source
  of his problem but expressed regret that
  they won't be able to fix it.
  <
      "We've learned that Mr. Conrad's brain
  is simply located much too close to his
  rectum," said Dr. Werner  Wiener, head
  of the eight-man surgical team. "This, we
  feel, explains why The Ignorant Bastard
  acts the way he does.
  <
      "We've consulted the Urban Dictionary
  and it explains Mr. Conrad's  erratic behavior,
  especially when he accuses evolutionists
  of being brain-washed vested-interest
  pseudoscience zombies or insists the
  Smithsonian's experts on "Early Man" are
  phonier than a four-dollar bill."
   <
   Conrad, whom people long knew has
a very low IQ, has pissed off millions of
Google customers in recent years by
claiming that man is as old as coal and
that death does not exist.
<
  This is what the Average Joe's brain looks like . . .
  <
http://www.sciencedaily.com/images/2005/01/050111165229.jpg
   <
  This is what Ed Conrad's brain looks like . . .
  <
http://www.posiesplace.net/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/spaghetti-tetra...
   <
     The sophisticated Urban Dictionary,
  used quite extensively in the medical
  profession, can be found at:
  <
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=asshole
  <
 ===============
   <
MAKING A MONKEY OUT OF EVOLUTIONISTS
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.sci.physics/msg/194e55e1d5d6b724
    <
MAN AS OLD AS COAL
http://www.edconrad.com
    <
DEATH DOES NOT EXIST
http://www.edconrad.org
    <
  =================
  <
     This is a brief list of some of the folks who attended
 a Prayer Meeting this morning to pray for Ed's recovery.
 <
 Rush Limbaugh
 Roseanne Roseannadanna
 Lady Gaga
 Donnie Trump
 Jerry Sandusky
 To Catch a Predator on American Idol
 Merrill Lynch
 GWB, Crawford, Texas (name withheld by request)
 Georgie Carlin
 Richard (Don't Call ME a Dick) Cheney
 Genghis Khan
 Roger Ailes
 Saddam Hussein
 Billo Reilly
 The Koch Brothers
 Joe McGinniss
 Ann "Douche Bag" Coulter
 Tokyo Rose
 Elvis and Enos Presley
 Papa John's Pizza
 Sean "Ins" Hannity
 G. Willikers
 The Darwin great-great grandkids
 Matthew, Mark, Luke and Jack
 Richard Dawkins
 Michael "Mike" Jackson
 Wall Street Industrial Averages
 Smithsonian Institution
 John Q. Pubic
 McDonald's Happy Meal
 Penn State University
 60 Minutes
 Residents of Bayonne, N.J.
 Harvard University
 Ozzie and Harriet
 Immanuel Velikovsky
 787,344 Walmart Customers
 Judas Iscariot
 David Iain Greig and The Boys at talk.origin
 Johns Hopkins Casey Stengel
 University of California-Berkeley
 Al Einstein
 Al Qaeda Al-Qaeda al-Qaida al-Qa'ida
 American Academy of Arts and Sciences
 Philip Morris
 American Association for the Advancement of Science
 Sheriff Jim Dangle -- Reno 911 Police Dept.
 American Association of Anatomists
 Joe Stalin
 American Anthropological Association
 Father Guido Sarducci
 Mother Teresa
 Sonia of Operation Repo
 The Grim Reaper
 Lee Harvey Oswald
 Jack Kevorkian
 Michael Moore
 Jeff Rense
 Fox News cameramen on 911
 St. Atus Quo
 President Obama
 Jeffrey Dahmer
 Reddy Kilowatt
 Julian Assange
 The Good Shepherd
 Silas Mariner
 Benjamin "Benny" Hill
 American Journal of Physical Anthropology
 Woody Allen
 Entire St. Louis Cardinals baseball team & Mascot
 American Medical Association
 Teddy Roosevelt
 Zinkag 41 (Autonomus Unit Zinkag 41, brood assemblage Delta 64)
 American Museum of Natural History
 American Civil Liberties Union ACLU
 Popeye and Olive Oil
 American Society for Investigative Pathology
 The Smithsonian Institution
 Kreskin
 American Society of Human Genetics
 Wikipedia
 Geological Society of America
 L'Osservatore Romano
 Paleontological Research Institute (PRI)
 Billy Graham
 Federation of American Scientists
 Science Nature Omni Penthouse magazines
 Smithsonian Custodial Employees (Local 666)
 Sarah Falin
 New England Journal of Medicine
 Paul PZ Myers University of Minnesota
 Michelle Malkin
 Geraldo Rivera
 The Good Samaritan
 Pope Benedict XVI c/o The Vatican
 Stephen Hawking
 The Girls at Mustang Ranch
 The Three Wise Men
 Sen. John Boner
 The Estate of the Leakey Family
 American Board of Forensic Anthropology
 American Journal of Pathology
 Rudy Giuliani
 Rick Santarium
 American Medical Association
 American Society for Investigative Pathology
 Armed Forces Institute of Pathology
 Father Guido Sarducci
 Mother Teresa
 Association for Molecular Pathology
 talk.origins (David Iain Greig, moderator)
 sci.bio.evolution
 College of American Pathologists
 Satchel Paige
 Viagra Mfg.Co.
 C-span
 Cornell University Medical College
 Wall Street bankers
 Joe Paterno
 Gen Omar Bradley (Ret.)
 Forensic Files
 International Academy of Pathology
 NBC
 Rupert Murdoch
 ABC
 U.S. Geological Survey
 Taliban Federation
 Buddy Holly
 Predators Society -- Chris Hansen CEO
 Fox News
 University of Pennsylvania student body
 MSNBC
 CNN
 New England Journal of Medicine
 Opponents of Intelligent Design
 Flash Gordon
 sci.med.pathology
 Boris Karloff
 Canadian Association for Physical Anthropology
 Cleveland Museum of Natural History
 Tiger Woods
 Institute of Human Origins
 Stephen Hawking
 The nation's Death Row inmates
 The Warner Brothers
 Society for Medical Anthropology
 Kenneth and Gloria Copeland
 Brad Pitt
 American Journal of Pathology
 Stagehands of "Dancing With the Stars"
 Pope John XXIII
 Peyton Manning
 Donald Rumsfeld
 American Society of Primatologists
 National Primate Association
 Piers Morgan
 La Brea Tar Pits, Los Angeles
 Oral Roberts
 British Petroleum BP
 Yerkes Regional Primate Research Center
 Gorilla Foundation
 The Banana Republic
 AAA (Amalgamated Atheists of America)
 Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales, founder of Wikipedia
 Chris Matthews
 Rachel Maddow
 Google Technicians
 Michael Moore
 Red Skelton
 Bill Maher and His Whole Family
 WikiLeaks
 Oliver Stone
 Mexico Drug Cartels
 Smithsonian Snack Shop staff
 Time Magazine
 Anderson Cooper
 Pamela Anderson
 New York Times
 National Enquirer
 The Stooge Brothers (all 3 of us)
 New York Daily News
 New York Post
 Newark Star-Ledger
 Trenton  Times
 Newark Star Lege
 Mrs. Sippi
 Newsweek
 Washington Insider
 Philadelphia Inquirer
 Steve Colbert and The Nation
 Meet the Press
 David Gregory
 eBay Stores
 PBS
 Rosie O'Donnell
 National Enquirer
 National Lampoon
 Washington Post
 Sean Penn
 Wall Street Journal
 Yogi Berra
 The View
 U.S. News and World Report
 60 Minutes
 Roswell (N.M.) Chamber of Commerce
 Arianna Huffington
 David Letterman
 Toronto Star
 Charles Manson