Subject: ED CONRAD SURE AIN'T MONKEYING AROUND .
From: Preston Duquene
Date: 29/04/2013, 02:59
Newsgroups: soc.culture.europe,alt.paranet.ufo,alt.sports.baseball.wash-nationals,pa.politics,alt.fifty-plus.friends

<
YES, VIRGINIA, THIS DARLING CHIMPANZEE AIN'T SLEEPING
<
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rD4eSgDW4ew/UFNwQDZejkI/AAAAAAAABiM/NLPN-wllnRc/s1600/%D1%83%D1%81%D1%82%D0%B0%D0%BB%D0%BE%D1%81%D1%82%D1%8C.jpg
<
<                               ==============
<
 For those who unfortunately missed it, here's a partial transcript
 of Piers Morgan Live that was televised on CNN last night, with
 Ed Conrad the special guest.
 <
 < ============================
 <
 PIERS MORGAN: Ed, you're the first person without a brain that I've
 ever interviewed, except for George Walker Bush. How does
 it feel?
 <
 ED CONRAD: Great, Pierre! I'll never be convicted of murder because,
 without a brain, I'm legally insane. Actually, I can get
 away with anything, including shoplifting at Walmart.
 <.
 PIERS: Ed, I understand that the Scientific Establishment refused
 to accept the donation of your brain for scientific research or
 to put it on permanent display at the Smithsonian. Any comment?
 <
 ED: See, Pierre, there are a lot of longtime employees at the
 Smithsonian who are either brain-dead or brainless. I suppose
 Secretary Wayne Clough didn't want to make any of them jealous.
 <
 PIERS: I understand, since you were quite depressed by their
 rejection, you became the very first person ever to try and auction
 off his brain on eBay.
 <
 ED: I really love money, Pierre, and the more the merrier. I knew it
 would turn me into Brussels Sprouts and a few other veggies but at
 least I knew I'd die with a nice healthy bank account.
Unfortunately,
 there were no bidders.
 <
 PIERS: Ed, why do you continually post a long list of news agencies
 and newspapers taking up precious computer resources and making our
 great nation more susceptible to overthrow by ferin powers?
 <
 ED: Because I'm a freakin' jerk, Pierre. Some say it's because
 my brain is a little too close to my assh*le.
 <
 PIERS: Ed, please be honest. Do you have ANYONE in your corner after
 31 1/2 years?
 <
 ED: Who cares, Pierre?. I'm right and the evolutionists, atheists
and
 Manchurian Candidate college graduates are dead wrong
 with their belief in man's evolution. Someday they'll be sorry,
 when they have a pitchfork stuck in their rectum.
 <
 ====================
 <
 "God Bless America" music can be heard faintly in the background
 as Piers Morgan shows his millions of viewers photos of mind-
boggling
 fossils --some human -- that Ed Conrad has discovered between coal
 veins.
 <
 PETRIFIED HUMAN REMAINS INSIDE COAL
 SEAMS MEANS EVOLUTION PURE CRAP
 <
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/FINGERSx.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/OldestHumanSkull.JPG
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/z11calv.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Skullx.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/skullb.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/SkullBoulderSide.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/z8femur.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/FOSSILS08/HumanFemur.jpg
 <
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/newtibia.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/HumanJaw3.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/TestResults.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/FirstDiscovery.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/OldestTool.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/MoreFossils.jpg
 <
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/InSlate3.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/InSlate2.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/InSlate11.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/GallBladder1.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/GallBladder2.jpg
 <
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/GallBladdery.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/Scorpion.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/PetrifiedPP.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/newtibia.jpg
http://www.edconrad.com/pics/HumanJaw3.jpg
 <
 PIERS: HOLY SHIT, Ed! Where did you find these incredible
 evolution-destroying fossils that beat the living daylights out
 of Charley Darwin and his Theory of Evolution?
 <
 ED: Please keep this confidential, Pierre, but here's a map showing
 spectacular cross-section of anthracite veins beneath Mahanoy City,
 Pa., where I found them.
 <
 The most golden rule of geology is that coal was formed a minimum of
 280 million years ago, meaning that man, in almost our present form,
 had inhabited the earth eons before Charlie
 and his Pied Piper evolutionists claim we evolved from sardines.
 <
 The century-old mining map confirms, beyond all reasonable
 doubt, that an asteroid, meteor or comet had struck the earth
 and offers the undeniable physical evidence of a catastrophe
 that boggles the mind.
 <
 (Piers shows viewers the maps while Ed informs them that they
 can click on some of the photos to make them a lot larger.)
 <
 <        THE ANATOMY OF A CATACLYSM
 <                     "Oh, the Humanity"
 <
http://www.wretch.cc/album/show.php?i=lin440315&b=22&f=1472383101&p=61
 <
http://www.wretch.cc/album/show.php?i=lin440315&b=22&f=1472392315&p=62
 <
http://www.wretch.cc/album/show.php?i=lin440315&b=22&f=1472383097&p=63
 <
 =============================
 <
 PIERS: Ed, you're definitely not an idiot as the Pseudo-scientists
 say. You're a freakin' genius like Copernicus, Galileo, Edison,
 Einstein and Immanuel Velikovsky.
 <
 ED: I agree!
 <
 PIERS: Ed, is it true that you're also quite a poet?
 <
 ED: If I were humble, Pierre, I would say No. But being honest,
 I can tell you truthfully that INDEED I am. In fact, I just happen
to
 have two of my poems with me on these large cardboard signs aside my
 chair so everyone can enjoy them. Let me recite this
 one for your audience.
 <
 <    BALLS OF FIRE
 Ed's dead, you said!
 I hope it's true!
 It's time for celebration.
 He's squeezed our balls
 'Til black and blue
 And I've run out of medication.
 <
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/72/The_scrotum071007.jpg
 <
 PIERS: Pretty damn good, Ed! I'd say you're way better than
 Ogden Nash. Now how about reciting your other poem for our viewers.
 <
 <       COPS AND ROBBERS
 The pseudos, their interests so vested
 And Poor Truth, for too long molested.
 Their deceit and deception
 Near the point of perfection
 If it were my call, they'd ALL be arrested
 <
 ==================================
 <
 PIERS: Folks, we've almost have run out of time. But we'd like to
hear
 from at least one telephone caller with a question or comment.
 <
 Hello, Las Vegas, your question or comment, please!
 <
 GRUFF MAFIA-LIKE VOICE: If I wanted to see fundamentalist crap, or
 fellow fundamentalists jerking each other off, I'd have watched
 "American Morons." Sprout your crap somewhere else, you idiots.
 <
 The program winds down as Piers shows an exclusive video of
 Ed Conrad beating Evolution, a dead horse.
 <
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjoMQJf5vKI
 <
 < =========================
 <
 MAN AS OLD AS COAL
 <
http://groups.google.com/group/alt.genealogy/browse_thread/thread/140...
 <           and
http://www.edconrad.com
 <
 PROOF OF LIFE AFTER DEATH
 <
http://www.edconrad.org
 <
 "We can forgive a child
 who is afraid of the dark.
 The real tragedy of life
 is when men are afraid
 of the light." -- Plato
 <
 <           (and)
 <
 "You're not only fighting the man
 in the ring, Ed. You're also fighting
 the referee and the three judges."
 < -- Clayton Lennon, philosopher
<
=========================
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 This is Local London (London)
 The Times and Sunday Times (London)
 The Sunday Times (London)
 West Sussex Observer (Chichester)
 Western Mail, The (Cardiff)
 Yorkshire Evening Post (Leeds)
 YUGOSLAVIA
 Blic Online (Begrade)
 Dnevnik (Vojvodina)
 Politika (Belgrade)
 Vecernje Novosti (Belgrade)
 Vijesti (Montenegro)