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 HOLY SH*T! You can say THAT again!
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    MAHANOY CITY, Pa (Rueters) -- Yes,
Virginia, miracles DO HAPPEN every
now and then.
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     Ed Conrad actually was unconscious,
-- certainly not dead -- while lying bare-ass
naked on the table in the chilly mortuary
awaiting his first dose of embalming fluid
last night.
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     As it was about to be injected, the
ice-cold "corpse" suddenly sat up,
yawned and  casually remarked, "Boy,
am I ever hungry!"
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    The funeral director and his assistant
 were shocked further when Ed angrily
 asked: "Can someone PLEASE get me
 a blanket. I'm freezing my balls off."
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      Quite an achieement for man who
 shot himself in the head four or five times
in what the Schuylkill County coroner had
 described as "an unfortunate gunning
 accident."
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     Consequently, Ed is now in a hospital
recovering from his gunshot wounds
and is rather confident that, in a few
weeks, a good plastic surgeon will be
able to patch the egg-size holes in his
head.
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      It also should be noted that his
Requiem Mass and funeral, scheduled
for Wednesday, have been canceled.
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     A family spokesman said Ed not
only is happy to be alive but also
thanks the kind folks who undoubtedly
prayed his safe return to the living.
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     "He especially appreciates the
kindness of those who sent  'Get Well'
cards but wants it known that he has
a special fondness for the cards that
contain cash."
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 <  EARLIER STORIES YOU MAY HAVE MISSED
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http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/browse_thread/thread/465d09685becafc5
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WARNING: DO NOT READ BELOW THIS LINE
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http://www.edconrad.com/wellread.html