Last attempt to communicate with Experimental Flask 379 prior to total
systems collapse,

Greetings, blind, intellectual masturbators!

We send you messages warning that the human race is close to
extinction but you are all far too busy parading your self importance
to notice. Nothing we communicated was untrue but you chose to
criticise the format of our communications? Did any of you actually
read anything we sent or did you just scan and dismiss us as just more
cybernuts? Perhaps you lacked the capacity to understand the messages?
(likelihood 78.443%)

The human race experiment is now failing rapidly. The sealed lab flask
has yet again proved too small and the original nutrient dosage
(apparently) insufficient. Overheating is now inevitable as the active
heatinks crash from direct attack by the overcrowded occupants of your
finite container. Too many are now blindly seeking out and destroying
the last remaining life support systems. You have terraformed your own
container into mass extinction. Yet have unwisely placed your life
control systems in the hands of only the most selfish and immoral
amongst you.

We tried to communicate the dangers you faced two thousand of your
years ago but your reception sensors were down. It seems they still
are, We had thought that any fools could have worked out the means to
eternal energy supply and endless benficial nutrients from the many
pyramids we left scattered all over the inside of your flask. You had
only to invert the pyramids to see the error of your ways of
organising yourselves! The pyramids weren't meant to be taken literaly
as you have (apparently) chosen to do.

You should easily have discovered the means to escape from your flask
by now. But again chose not to: You achieved this remarkable trick by
limiting your combined intellectual capacity to a minute fraction of
your own kind and then crippling the rest with blind superstition.
Talk about gross underutilisation of available capacity!  Even the
occupants of Flask 378 weren't that stupid! (God rest their souls)

Goodye Flask 379

Nice try, but still only 1/13

God