Nevada Test Site trip report

From: "Zero" 
Date: Tue, 29 Apr 1997 09:59:58 -0800
Subject: Nevada Test Site trip report


The intrepid group of explorers -- known as The Groom lake
Interceptors -- descended upon the Highland office of the Department
of Energy early on the morning of Friday, April 25th.

We were lead inside the DOE Building, and then into a small meeting
room to receive our badges.  I was quick to notice that the two
foreign members of our group received red badges, while the rest of us
received green badges.  The only explanation I have for the color
change, is that Wackenhut Security would use badge color during target
acquisition.  Although, I'm still uncertain which badge color they
would shoot first...

The group then boarded the KT Tour bus for the first leg of our
voyage.  During our trip from Las Vegas to Mercury, Mr. Darwin Morgan
from the Nevada DOE office answered questions regarding the test site.
A few of our members tried in vain to extract secret information from
our host, but Mr. Morgan was cool, calm and collected throughout the
questioning.

We breezed through Mercury, opting NOT to sample the cuisine at the
five-star Mercury Cafeteria.  Instead, our very competent bus driver
pointed our luxury coach toward Area 25.

After touring the Nuclear Rocket Engine test cells, E-MAD and the BREN
Tower in Area 25, we then headed up Cane Spring Road toward the
infamous Mercury Highway. We dashed past the time consuming Control
Point One and Yucca Lake, hanging a left, shortly thereafter, onto
Pahute Mesa Road.

We turned on Buckboard Mesa Road and drove up to Area 20, where we had
a brief lunch break at the Greenwater Ground Zero, as well as a tour
of the inside of the Greenwater assembly building.  The inside tour
was basically instigated by the Interceptors -- we are a nosy bunch.

>From there we traveled to the Boxcar, 1.3 megaton, subsidence crater.
Then off Pahute Mesa and down Stockade Wash Road into Area 12.  As we
descended from Rainier Mesa, our host pointed out that many dry lakes
could be seen from this vantage point (hint! hint!), our courageous
bus driver slowed the bus to a crawl to enhance our viewing pleasure.

After our descent we hit the EPA farm, and learned all about "Sam the
Bull" and his permanent stomach portal.  Then we were off to Sedan
Crater for a photo opportunity.  Then on to the Icecap GZ, Tweezer
facility and Frenchman Flat.

They let us off the bus again at Frenchman Flat.

We did stop at the Mercury Cafeteria on our way out, but it's not
worth mentioning.  On our return trip to Vegas, we were forced to
watch this really stupid video about Spud Cannons and Decoder Ring
making -- Proving once and for all:  The Interceptors are truly a
bizarre group of individuals.


Forever in your service,

Agent Zero