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From: Peregrine Mendoza <101653.2205@CompuServe.COM>
Date: 21 Jan 97 18:29:34 EST
Fwd Date: Wed, 22 Jan 1997 09:59:45 -0500
Subject: Re: Mendoza's Secret Life


Peregrine, Duke of Mendoza presents his compliments to the List.

After a short respite visiting my old Mum in K-- - Whoops! Sorry - I mean
spending some days intensively debriefing one of our longest-serving agents at a
safe house believed to be only a few miles from RAF Manston somewhere in the
south east of England...

> Date: Wed, 15 Jan 1997 19:56:08 -0600 (CST)
> From: Brian Zeiler <bdzeiler@anet-chi.com>

> Hopefully this time he'll be serious about a rebuttal and not as
> flippant as he was last time.

It's hard to keep a straight face. Surely one who seriously presents the
thickness of a book's pages as evidence of counter-intelligence, secret
subsidies, disinformation campaigns and the author's clandestine military
service is a sail or two short of the full ship. As sad as Bob Shell's notion
that CNN drop an item from the 3am news because they've been got at by the
gov't, or someone else's amazement that Kodak works for Uncle Sam. I mean, it's
pretty weird they hired Boeing to build aircaft, too, isn't it? Golly-gee,
Billy-Bub, do you think IBM makes computers for them? And naturally I am a
paedophile child murderer because I think gun controls don't work. And so on. If
you really expect me not to laugh I shall suspect you of having a sense of
humor.

> Brookesmith doesn't present himself as a skeptic or debunker, but he
> sure as hell is, and after that raised my eyebrow, I noticed numerous
> glaring problems.  He's trying to lure in the fence-sitters and then
> cram disinformation down their throats.

Gad, the fellow's a bounder, sir, and be sure to keep your daughters a safe
distance from the slithy tove. Perhaps no one has told the doughty Yeoman Brian,
scourge of Black Ops everywhere, that authors rarely write blurbs. And how
unscrupulous for a skeptic to attempt to persuade the undecided of the virtues
of his perspective. No True Believer would stoop so low. [It's easier ignore the
skeptics altogether, eh, Mr Berliner, and take your money from Mr Rockefeller
who, we all know, is a monstrous agent of the New World Order... er... um...
conspiracy theories get a bit tangled here - half a mo - Mmmmmmmmm.] Perhaps I
should stop thanking people who point out errors in my captions (for the gesture
is a sure sign of an unprincipled debunker, and unspeakable depths of
deviousness in the fungus-like plot of disinformation).

I have also noticed how politicians never try to convince anyone to vote for
them, and men never try to charm women off their feet. This explains why only a
few election candidates actually get elected, I expect (and definitely explains
why so few men, as opposed to gentlemen, get laid).

I confess (I do, really) that I cannot suppress my awe at the meticulous detail
and scrupulous fact-checking that has gone into the research here:

> Brookesmith pretends to be "long interested in the paranormal",
> which is crap.

I guess 17 years of publishing stuff about the paranormal isn't long, given that
nothing ever changes in this whimsical field. And Zeiler's sudden access to all
my filthy secrets doubtless explains why he still hasn't bothered to e-mail me a
suitable form of release document for his FOIA requests.

> I'll be sure to post examples [of "shifty spookiness", presumably--PB]
> with excruciating detail, and Brookesmith will have the right to
> defend himself.

Splutter, sob. I can barely express my gratitude at your condescension.

Isn't confessing to being a MOSSAD agent enough for you people? You want me to
admit I really work for Satan? Here's a clue. You put yourself in mortal danger
every time you surf the Web, you know. The Web is a soul-control device cooked
up by our boys in Rome (guess where) and our boys in Langley and Tel Aviv... W
is letter 23 of the alphabet, right? WWW = 23 23 23 or 2x3, 2x3, 2x3 or --
Aaaaiiiiieeeee! -- 666!! Keep this to yourself, though, because you could only
have got it from an Insider.

Remember the wisom of the irreplaceable ~Pat~:

>   1. UFO encounters are true.
>   2. Coverups are speculation.
>   3. All is not Roswell.

best wishes
P. Mendoza Broadsmiles (not Brian Zeigler's real name)

PS: Andy, Jerry, Steven J., Greg, and the rest of you: meet me under the hollow
oak tree on Rendlesham Common at midnight for further instructions and a bonus.
Reverse-engineered courtesy bus available.

PPS: Thanks to John Koopmans for getting to Fort before me.

PPPS: Yeah, I know, alien writing, rebuttal of Oberg, etc... I'll get there.
Once more, thanks for the patience.