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From: meccam@erols.com
Date: Thu, 17 Jul 1997 23:33:28 -0500
Fwd Date: Fri, 18 Jul 1997 00:03:32 -0400
Subject: ET Consciousness Comes to America!

A true, indisputable, factual account, completely and totally proving
the point:

Hallmark cards has published a new line of "Shoebox Greetings" adorned
with "The Grays."

Card #1 - Birthday

Cover - Living room scene, three greys looking over the back of a
couch.  Behind them is a TV with a football game.  Front door open,
landed saucer outside.  Bubble text - "For your birthday, how would you
like to get any and all sports channels....."  Inside card - "directly
into your head.  We can do it.  It'll hurt a little, but you won't
remember."

Card #2 - Birthday

Single grey holding a mechanical device pointed at a tiny levitating
saucer, upon which rests a birthday cake with lit candles.  Bubble text
- "Happy day of birth to you, Happy day of birth to you" - Inside card -
"you have the appearence of a small hairy primate, and the scent of one,
too!  I hope you found this amusing, earthling."

Card #3 - Birthday

Small person standing outside his car in the light beaming down from a
saucer.  Text - "When aliens abducted me they gave me several ideas on
how you could celebrate your birthday!"  On the side of the card there's
a wheel with four choices:  "Wrap yourself in stinky goo, wake up in a
dark coccon;" "insulate that car for space travel;" "Insert small homing
device in your nasal cavity;" and "Tie yourself to medical table, shine
bright lights overhead."  Inside the cover, text reads: "Choose your
favorite and have a happy birthday."

Card #4 - Birthday  [My favorite]

Scene - two greys climbing in a window towards the foot of a bed.  One
says "We don't like abducting women your age"  Inside the cover - "They
always want us to put their body parts back in slightly different places
than when we started.  Happy birthday."

I rest my case, Q.E.D.  You may have deduced that I had a close
encounter with the evidence, unescapable conclusion proven by the
detailed descriptions and exact quotes.  Sorry, don't have a color
scanner, you'll have to take it on faith.  However, doubt my credibilty,
as a lifelong expert in greeting cards, and I shoot!

Now, Errol, you have to post this - it's pristine, first-edition
original research.  I'm getting a grant from a major university
(undisclosed until the money is in my bank account) to study the buying
patterns and customer reactions to this line - gonna write my Sociology
Ph.D dissertation on this one, you bet.  Then I'll publish it as a
book.  Then I'll go on the talk circuit with my name in lights!!! Ah,
the bliss of fame, soon come, mon.

Melanie