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From: Patricia Mason <pmason@ee.net>
Date: Mon, 09 Feb 1998 11:39:40 -0500
Fwd Date: Mon, 09 Feb 1998 18:14:22 -0500
Subject: Re: 'Shoebox Greetings Presents the Grays'

Hi,

I forwarded some of you a post from UFO Updates by Steven Feldman
that really tickled me. John Stanton sent me a great reply I'd
like to share with all of you. First you will find the original
UFO Updates post and below that John's reply to my forward of
Steven's email.

Ack,

Pat
______________________


From: Steven Feldman <AR402004@BROWNVM.BROWN.EDU>
Date: Tue, 03 Feb 98 15:48:53 EST
Fwd Date: Tue, 03 Feb 1998 19:30:01 -0500
Subject: 'Shoebox Greetings Presents the Grays'


Ack!  I just browsed the Shoebox Greetings website to try to get
a coffee mug, and found out that Shoebox (a division of Hallmark)
has a line of greeting cards called "The Grays"!  Additionally,
the cartoonist responsible has created a number of "adventures"
on this site -- complete with accompanying color illustrations --
among them, a Christmas story, a Valentine's Day Story, and an
eight-chapter Summer Vacation story.  Here is the opening
sentence from the Christmas story:

 "'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the ship, not a
  creature was stirring except for the occasional abducted cow."

Yep, that was a real knee-slapper.  And here's the copy of one of
the actual cards they have for sale (which, admittedly, *is*
somewhat humorous):

Cover:

           There are worse
         things than turning
          another year older

Inside text:

     You could have three brains
     and have that macarena song
      going through all of them.


Interested?  The URL is:

http://www.shoebox.com/grays/adventures.asp


Steven Feldman ^ ^ ^ SUBSCRIBED TO: Space Music, ^ ^ ^ ^ ^  ________ ^ ^
33 Brook St #3 ^ ^ ^ Tadream, CNI News, P.E.E.R. ^ ^ ^ __---        ---_
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02146-6913 USA ^ ^ ^ Journal, the Nausicaa list, ^ ^ |           /_/ \  |
(617) 232-3876 ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ and Nutrition News. ^ ^_-      __/_// __ |/
BITNET: ar402004@brownvm ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ -     (|/ '()` <()/ ^
INTERNET: ar402004@brownvm.brown.edu ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^  \_   O        .> | ^
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_____________________

Date: Sat, 7 Feb 1998 06:25:43 -0500
From: John Stanton <JohnStanton2@compuserve.com>
Subject: Alien Merchandising...
Sender: John Stanton <JohnStanton2@compuserve.com>
To: Pat Mason <pmason@ee.net>

Hi, Pat!

I just had to check out that greeting card web site you mentioned
- Ack!

Good Grief!

The MIB are heroes, the grays are cuddly... and the propaganda
chugs on with a life of its own. No doubt those stupid cards will
make a fortune.

I don't know which I loathe more - the skeptic, whose credo is
"if it hasn't happened to me, YOU must be crazy!" or the
true-believer, whose motto is "grovel first, ask questions
later." Like the folks on the CompuSnarph UFO forum - volumes of
incredible blither about all the alien "races." The Lion people -
proud, warm, fierce... the lizard folks of course are "sneaky,
cold-blooded, feel no emotions." Then there's those incredibly
evolved beings of light, who traverse galaxies to proselytize,
like so many cosmic Jehovah's Witnesses.  Details about what the
"Zeta Reticulans" prefer to eat. Did you know that the grays were
made from mutated cattle DNA, and they find luminescent likens
positively yummy? Yep. All this info and volumes more were
"channeled" which of course means it is impeccable.

It does smack the old cynical funnybone, though. Maybe we just
don't get it. We could be missing out on the biggest
merchandizing bonanza since an ad agency figured out how to
re-sell Tylenol to a paranoid public. I've been nigh-eve for so
long. After all, I didn't even know that "huffing the weasel"
isn't considered sex in Arkansas.

Remember the Weekly World News cover, with the picture of Bill
Clinton grinning at the alien? They left off the caption: "Is
that a death ray-gun in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?"

Two words, Pat. Latex novelties.

I can see it all now. A spiritual experience for the New Agers, a
new rush for the congenitally jaded. Alien-slut love dolls.
Streaming video of Pam Anderson in 3-way with a gray and an MIB.
An entire line of  "Roswell Marital Aids" - The cutting edge of
reverse-engineered extraterrestrial love-toys. Yep. I think we've
finally got a finger on the throbbing pulse of the American
public.

You call Mulder, I'll call Scully; we'll have our attorneys do
lunch & start the paperwork. Fortune 500, here we come!

Hehehe!

Take care,

John





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