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From: Jim Mortellaro <Jsmortell@aol.com> Date: Tue, 9 Feb 1999 12:47:49 EST Fwd Date: Wed, 10 Feb 1999 14:27:19 -0500 Subject: The Gesundt Newsletter - All the News that's fit The Gesundt Newsletter - "All the News that's fit to Tint" Copyright 1999, Gesundt's Fresh Spirits and UFO Stuff This is our premier edition of the Gesundt Newsletter, we call it the G.D. News. But first, a commentary on the Budd Hopkins UFO Conference. That our founder, Dr. Jaime Gesundt, was not invited to speak at this most prestigious event, is a catastrostroke of the first order, a snub to a great man unworthy of such maltreatment. "Gesundt's Freshly Made fully intends to supply Mr. Hopkins with all the Gripple Dripple he and his guests are able to consume, in spite of this insult to the integrity of Dr. Gesundt." Enough said! Cookie Cutter UFOs sighted over Gesundt Facilities Worldwide! Plant managers at numerous Gesundt wine generating plants throughout the world are being overflown by UFO's of new and interesting design. Square, round, cube and other oddly shaped craft hover and hang for hours on end, as if waiting for something. One of our more creative plant managers decided to offer the pilots a taste, assuming that was what they wanted. So he set up ten magnums of Gripple Dripple, Gripple Dripple Plus with Vitamin G and a dozen blow up dolls from our last promotion on the roof of his facility The occupants of the craft immediately sucked up the wine and attempted to impregnate the dolls. "We now understand why they are here," Mr. Bailey Gesundt (Sedona plant manager) was quoted as saying. In the Canal Street facility, Scotty Gesundt, the plant manager there, etched arrows into the New York Pavement, pointing to the Canal Street Freshly Made plant, with a large picture of a pregnant woman holding a gallon jug of Original Gripple in her hand. After each UFO sighting report, the wine was taken up into the craft, which moments later wobbled away in a zigzag flight pattern, all the while changing shape and color in a psychedelic maze reminiscent of the sixties. Dr. Gesundt plans Historic Meeting with Fromage! Our own New York City wunderkind, tired of hearing of the exploits of the "Upstart Cheese Person," as Dr. Gesundt refers to Mr. Fromage, is willing to concede at least the good intentions of Mr. Fromage. "On that basis, wine and cheese will work together in research and discovery. Together we will find the answers." Dr. Gesundt stated in a recent interview. Harry Silvercup, the bread entrepreneur, has also expressed an interest in making this a triumvirate of Wine, Bread and Cheese. America is the best! Film at eleven! Gesundt
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