From: Moderator UFO UpDates - Toronto Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 16:49:35 -0400 Fwd Date: Thu, 22 Jul 1999 16:49:35 -0400 Subject: 'Alienable Rights' Vancouver! Magazine VANCOUVER! Magazine Summer 1999 page 12 Alienable Rights Regular washing of bed linen will prevent bugs, and a discreet display of natural fibres will scare off suitors who secretly like hanging out at the Roxy, but what are you going to do about those other unwanted bedroom visitors? That’s right: aliens. According to Michael Strainic, the B.C. president of the Mutual UFO Network, alien abduction claims in the Vancouver area are "way off the scale," with at least 300 people claiming to have been spirited away. Well, now there's help. The Vancouver Public Library has recently received Ann Druffel’s 1998 book How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction, which lists nine methods used by 'resisters' to fend off 'greys', the short, big-eyed aliens most active in human abductions. (Urgent warning: these strategies are not necessarily effective against the 'reptilian' and 'Nordic' types, which are becoming more aggressive.) Unlike the demanding and long-term approach touted in Michelle LaVigne’s inferior 1995 manual The Alien Abduction Survival Guide, which requires that you learn to accept such facts of abductee life as having your lungs taken out on a regular basis, Druffel’s book suggests simple, common-sense techniques. Druffel also suggests that you assert your, er, inalienable rights. . For abductees who have a hard time finding this part of the Constitution, there is the more traditional approach of repellents no need to go full-on pepper spray: simple herbs and flower essences will work. Pennyroyal, for instance, hampers alien materialisation and strengthens your astral body while clearing up your acne. It also induces abortion, however, so pregnant 'experiencers' should stick to putting a ring of salt around their beds. This will also keep away slugs. Druffel’s goal is to bring some order to the mushrooming abduction phenomenon, which is hijacking the extraterrestrial field and draining the resources of serious ufologists. Strainic shares Druffel’s sentiment. He already has his hands full with two sightings and considers the abduction claims largely irrelevant, since, as he points out, "in many abductions there is no UFO; the person is just taken through the wall." Conversely, with most local sightings there is no alien: the UFOs around here tend to be amorphous balls of light rather than solid flying objects, which supports a 1992 finding that geo-magnetic disturbances can create light phenomena above stress fractures in the earth. In other words, not ET, but San Andreas. With its "step_by_step instructions on what to do if aliens come knocking at your door" and its tantalising implication that citronella could repel Jehovah’s Witnesses, 'How to Defend Yourself Against Alien Abduction' may succeed only too well. Druffel has already taken a lot of heat for the book, says Strainic, "Everybody’s going, You shouldn't tell people how to stop these things. How else are we going to study them?’" --Pamela Swanigan
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