From: Daev Walsh - Blather <daev@blather.net>
Date: Fri, 18 Jun 1999 18:36:07 +0100
Fwd Date: Sat, 19 Jun 1999 09:20:07 -0400
Subject: Blather: On The Ghost Bus
______________________________________________________
B L A T H E R
p a r a n o r m a l p r o v o c a t e u r i s m
By Dave (daev) Walsh daev@blather.net
Web: http://www.blather.net
_______________________________________________________
June 18th 01999, Dublin, Ireland Vol 3. No. 2
_______________________________________________________
Lily O'Briens is a manufacturer of premium handmade chocolates
located in the heart of County Kildare in the Emerald Green
Island of Ireland. Surf along to their website and feast your
eyes - and order via our secure server!
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______________________________________________________
Contents This Issue:
On the Ghost Bus: Blather takes a Bus to Hell
Owlman Plea: Jon Downes seeks a philanthropist
Bleedin' Errata!: Careless, us?
Magonia: Latest new from the Magonia website
Octocon X: The Tenth National Irish Science Fiction Convention,
featuring Blather's daev.
_____________________________________________________
ON THE GHOST BUS
At 19:30 hours on the 25th of May, this Blatherskite ended a
headlong bicycle sprint across Dublin's humid inner city,
arriving at O'Connell St. with barely enough time to leap aboard
the Dublin Ghost Bus and wave his credentials, before the
spectral vehicle lurched away into the evening.
Operated by Dublin Bus, the city's public transport company, the
double-decker Ghost Bus cuts a curious jib as it trundles about
the backstreets in its livery of blues, purples and black, with
darkened or curtained windows.
Inside the bus, the driver and assistant are dressed in normal
Dublin Bus uniforms, but the decor is dark and decorated with
prints of the Irish Hell-Fire Club and Bram Stoker. Upstairs -
where the punters sit - is adorned with red velvet curtains and
paintwork that seems to unconsciously suggest that 'Molly' - as
the bus is known - is more flesh and blood that we would expect.
As we edge slowly through the evening traffic towards the River
Liffey, we are joined by James, our guide for the evening,
dressed in an immaculate high-collared white shirt, cravat and
waistcoat. James introduces the rest of the crew: the driver,
'Francis "Blood-on-the-tyres" Schumacher', 'Blind Igor, the
Phibsboro Psychopath', and of course, Molly herself.
As we cross O'Connell Bridge, we pull back the curtains - it
seems far too bright and sunny to be on a ghost tour - to learn
about the strange apparition that appeared by a floating
restaurant - the MV Aran, which used to be moored by the Customs
House back in the 1980s.
[Live view of O'Connell Bridge:
http://www.ireland.com/dublin/liveview/index.htm]
[See also:
http://www.archeire.com/archdublin/bridges/oconnell.html]
As we wheel up D'Olier St., passed the offices of the Irish
Times, James reels off a list of famous writers who had studied
in the approaching Trinity College - including, of course, Bram
Stoker, author 'Dracula'. We learn of the year of Stoker's birth
- 1847, or 'Black 47' - the worst year of the Irish Famine, his
sickly childhood and Ballybock Cemetery, his habitual play
place.
[Trinity College Dublin:
http://www.archeire.com/archdublin/trinity/trinmain.htm]
By now we're were on Nassau St. and turning up Kildare St.,
having patrolled a good half of Trinity's perimeter, and
stopping off at the College of Physicians. Here we glimpse the
beginning of a major topic of tonight's proceedings: Body
Snatching. It was at this College that a Dr. Samuel Clossey
operated his school of anatomy, apparently between 1786 and
1803. A 'tall, mean, overbearing' individual, he seems to have
eschewed the frivolities of religion and emotion, to
(paradoxically) revel in the delights of shocking his students -
slicing up bodies to show that we are little more than meat.
Clossey himself met a rather unsavoury end, thanks to his
miserliness and bloodthirstiness. We won't give away the story
here...
[Oddly, my copy of Dr. John Fleetwood's 'The Irish Body
Snatchers
(1988) makes no mention of Dr. Clossey...]
Up Kildare St. a little further, and we pass by Leinster House -
where the Dáil (Irish Parliament) can be found, and the National
Museum. On the other side of the street from these public
buildings is a row of fairly ordinary looking Georgian houses -
one of which was the residence of Bram Stoker. Next we pass the
Shelbourne Hotel, where, in 1910, in room 256, 'psychic' Sybil
Leek allegedly contacted the ghost of one 'Mary Masters' in
August 1965. Mary claimed to have popped her cogs in 1791 due to
cholera. Apparently Leek's mother's maiden name was also
Masters, and a row of Georgian houses was demolished to build
the hotel, back in 1824.
Hans Holzer, in his book 'The Lively Ghosts of Ireland' mentions
this case - Sybil Leek was a friend of his. We're sure James
said the room was 256, however Holzer says 526, and well, as he
was 'there' at the time, it's hard to argue with that.
[Leinster House:
http://www.archeire.com/archdublin/18thc/leinster.htm]
[Shelbourne Hotel:
http://www.shelbourne.ie/]
Then it's down Merrion Row, swinging a right onto Ely Place,
where many of Dublin's rich lived - Oliver St. John Gogarty,
Bram Stoker's brother Thornley, George Moore and John 'Black
Jack' Fitzgibbon, the Earl of Clare (1746-1802), who lived in
No. 6. He is infamously reported to have hung 13 people in one
day (for the sheer hell of it), stating that he would make the
Irish as 'tame as castrated cats'. Oddly, he himself was
castrated in later years during an altercation in a Turkish
brothel. He survived this setback, and died, much later on.
Apparently multitudes of commoners carrying sacks joined his
funeral cortege - curious, for such an unpopular man. At his
graveside the contents of the sacks were thrown onto his coffin
- dozens of dead cats, in varying stages of decay.
The bus turns back onto Stephen's Green, heading up the Monk's
walk, while James starts ramming a hatpin through a doll wearing
a letter 'F', while Francis, the driver, starts screaming below.
The 'passengers' are also given a go - some are more
'passionate' about stabbing than others, it seems. This leads
into stories of how a Blacksmith's 1798 curse lead to the death
of the 7ft (2.13m) tall Lieutenant Hempenstall, a.k.a. 'The
Walking Gallows', who could hang a man with his silk cravat.
According to Peter Somerville-Large's 'Irish Eccentrics', some
wit dedicated two lines of verse to the Lieutenant's demise:
'Here lies the bones of Hempenstall,
Judge, jury, gallows, rope and all.'
Before we know it, we're out of the bus and creeping down Long
Lane, with James in his overcoat and trilby, carrying a bag of
tools and swinging an umbrella. Into St. Kevin's Park with us,
formerly St. Kevin's 'Cemetery'... where members of the Thomas
Moore family, the poet, are buried. To the rather startled
bemusement of some of our number, our guide demonstrates - using
tools and gestures - the practice of body-snatching - whether it
was of full bodies for sale to the medical community or merely
the removal of teeth and hair from the corpses of cholera
victims. We were shown how the corpse would be impaled under the
chin and pulled from the grave, and a box of human teeth was
passed around, to the consternation of several people...
St. Kevin's seems alive with stories - George 'Crazy Crow'
Hendrick, an 18th century day-time 'porter of musical
instruments' and night-time 'sack-em-up', practiced his
snatching skills at St. Kevin's, some of which allegedly led to
the entrapment of some of his colleagues in a mausoleum. Dr.
Fleetwood book 'The Irish Body Snatchers', however, tells us
that Hendrick only became a musical instrument porter in 1832,
when the passing of the Anatomy Act killed the body snatching
business.
The ivy-laded church ruins, in the centre of the park,
apparently house the ghost of Bishop Dermot O'Hurley, executed
in Penal Times. High season for bishopric apparitions is said to
be 'late July'. Arthur Wellesley, better know as the Duke of
Wellington, was baptised
in the tiny church.
We pile back onto the bus, and head over to St. Patrick's
Cathedral, while James manages to horrify some passengers with
readings from Jonathan Swift's (author of 'Gulliver's Travels',
and Dean of St. Patrick's in the 18th century) infamous
political satire 'A Modest Proposal - For Preventing The
Children of Poor People in Ireland From Being Aburden to Their
Parents or Country, and For Making Them Beneficial to The
Public'. Swift himself is buried beneath the floor of the
medieval building, and although our guide doesn't mention it,
the Dean is said to appear in various locations around Ireland
to this day...
[A Modest Proposal
http://art-bin.com/art/omodest.html]
We hook into New St., where we notice that the adjacent school
was established in 1432. So far, the stories have seemed well
researched, and acknowledgement has been made of those which are
more apocryphal. However, the most dubious tale yet is of an
almost premature burial 'inside' St. Patrick's featuring a lady
who apparently suffered a cataleptic fit.
She was revived when one of the funeral attendants attempted to
divest her of her wedding ring - and her finger with it. She is
said to have run home from the church, wondering what she was
doing there, bleeding from her wound, and subsequently lived for
32 years. Unfortunately, this seems to be one of those
archetypal tales which insists on showing up again and again.
The first time this writer heard of it was about 15 years ago in
Wexford, this time it referred to the apparent demise of the
matriarch of a local estate, and her resurrection at the hands
of a terrified grave robber.
[St. Patrick's:
http://www.archeire.com/archdublin/17thc/stpats.htm]
Next to St. Patrick's is Marshe's Library, assembled by Bishop
Narcissus Marshe in the 17th century. The tour doesn't enter here, but
if we may digress, this place is always worth a visit, as they have
regular topical exhibitions of selected works - a couple of years ago
they had a showing of publications relating to 'mythical' animals -
but when these books were published, such creatures were though to be
real. They also have a first edition of 'Gulliver's Travels'...
The Bishop's ghost is said to haunt the library, eternally searching
for the note left for him, hidden inside a book by his niece, who he
had reared from childhood. She eloped with a seaman, and left Marshe
heartbroken...
[Marshes's Library:
http://www.archeire.com/archdublin/18thc/marsh.htm]
The bus heads up Patrick's St., under the arch at Christchurch
cathedral, and pulling in at the top of Winetavern St. to hear tales
of 'Hell', the jungle of sin which stretched along the side of the
hill from Christchurch to St. Audeons. Apparently there exists an 18th
century newspaper notice, advertising:
'To Rent: Rooms in Hell. Lawyers Preferred'.
[Christchurch Cathedral:
http://www.archeire.com/archdublin/17thc/christch.htm]
On the southern end of Hell, over on Fishamble St., a new pub
called 'Darky Kelly's' can be seen. Kelly was an 18th century
'madame' who kept a house known as 'The Maiden Tower' in the
building in which the pub now resides. It was said to be
'notably labyrinthine' by officers of the law who once raided
the place, probably because they spent so much time there before
leaving...
Darky Kelly was executed, for the alleged murder of her child,
the body of whom was never actually produced. Her prosecutor?
One Simon Luttrell, Sheriff of Dublin, alleged Hell-Fire Club
member, and reportedly the father of the child...
We roll downhill, and around the corner onto Cooke St. On our
right is the rear of 'Adam and Eve's' church, which faces onto
Merchant's Quay. In Penal times, when Catholic mass was
outlawed, there used to be a tavern on the site called... 'Adam
and Eve's'. This pub had a small church hidden inside it, where
illicit worship was carried out - think of it as alcohol
prohibition in reverse. Consider it... people going out under
the auspices of drinking, but instead 'really' going to
mass. For Joyce fans, 'Adam and Eve's is mentioned on the first
page of 'Finnegans Wake', albeit the other way around.
'riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of
bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to
Howth Castle and Environs.'
The bus stops off again by the north-facing gate of the city
walls, dating back to 1240AD. James unlocks the gate, and we
crowd in, and up the 'Forty Steps'. Here we hear tales of nuns
making reports to the Gardai in 1955, following their encounters
with leper ghosts, and mysterious green ladies, thought to be
Darky Kelly bringing her unwanted offspring to St. Audeon's
church. Fine frightening environs for dusktime tales...
[St. Audeon's:
http://www.archeire.com/archdublin/17thc/staudeon.htm]
[City Walls:
http://www.archeire.com/archdublin/17thc/citywall.htm]
The remainder of the tour brings us around Smithfield, on the
north side of the Liffey, where we hear tales of 'Billy the
Bowl' - the legless murderer of Stoneybatter, 'Prince Hackball'
(Patrick Corrigan), the infamous pickpocket, and the mysterious
'Scaldbrother', mentioned in a previous Blather issue. Some
tales of Irish wakes (i.e. funerary traditions), and we amble
back to O'Connell St., where Molly prepares to collect another
horde of unwitting victims.
Highly recommended, for tourists and residents alike...
Scaldbrother:
http://www.blather.net/archives2/issue2no24.html
Departs from:
Dublin Bus
59 Upper O'Connell St.
Dublin 1
+353 1 8734222
http://www.dublinbus.ie/
The Dublin Ghost Bus Tour site:
http://www.dublinbus.ie/html/travinfo/tours/ghost.html
Price: £12.00
Duration: 2 1/4 Hours
Departure Time:
Tuesday-Friday: 7:30pm
Saturday: 7:30pm and 9:30pm
Sunday: 7:30pm
No Monday Tour
At the moment, the Ghost Bus seems to be operating between March
and late Autumn. It may a good idea to phone Dublin Bus to
confirm that the tour is actually on.
Dave (daev) Walsh
June 18th 01999
This issue is archived at
http://www.blather.net/archives3/issue3no2.html
_____________________________________________________
OWLMAN PLEA! - From our man in Exeter, Mr. Jonathan Downes.
"Three years ago I published a book called 'The Owlman and
Others' which told the story of how my ex-wife and I travelled
across the semi-mythical land of Cornwall in search of high
adventure, free drinks, and the legendary 'Owlman of Mawnan' - a
grotesque feathered bird-man which haunts the area immediately
surrounding Mawnan Old Church in southern Cornwall. Last year,
noted fortean Film Director Ben Cusden and I started work on a
feature film loosely based around the book. Very loosely.
Setting my fevered imagination to work I wrote a screenplay
which owes more to cult American 'trash' director John Waters
than anything else. The results of our labours can be found at
http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/arecibo/236/
Now - here's the complicated bit. We only made sixteen minutes
of it because we ran out of money. The reaction we have had from
press and punters is stunning. Everyone loves it (even though it
is completely ridiculous. We need about ten thousand quid to
finish it, and anyone investing in it could be reasonably
assured of a decent return on their investment as well as being
part of the most influential piece of fortean bollocks to have
been made for video ever!
Any fortean philanthropists out there?"
- Jon Downes, Centre for Fortean Zoology
http://www.eclipse.co.uk/cfz/
su2223@eclipse.co.uk
_____________________________________________________
BLEEDIN ERRATA!
In a classic show of carelessness, in the issue 'Hell-Fire
Francis' we accidently referred to the late Anton Szandor LaVey
as 'Anton Salvador LaVey'. Appropriate punishment has been
delivered. Thanks to Marcello Truzzi and Peter Lakbar for
catching that one...
_____________________________________________________
http://www.magonia.demon.co.uk/newmag.htm
What's new at Magonia
06/06/99
Visions of Bowmen and Angels
The strange case of Arthur Machen and the Angels of Mons. By Kevin
McClure
Magonia Monthly Supplement #15
ETH - questions that need answering; Satanic update; Allagash under
fire
_____________________________________________________
Octocon X
The Tenth National Irish Science Fiction Convention
Guest of Honour:
Robert Rankin
Bestselling author of
The Brentford Trilogy and Apocalypso
Other Guests Include:
Eugene Byrne, Storm Constantine,
Maggie Furey, Robert Holdstock,
Graham Joyce, Tom Mathews, Ian McDonald,
Kim Newman, Geoff Ryman, Michael Scott,
Brian Stableford, Dave (Daev) Walsh and
James White
9-10 October 1999
Royal Marine Hotel
Dun Laoghaire, Co. Dublin, Ireland
http://www.iol.ie/~jshields/octocon/
_____________________________________________________
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