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From: Jim Mortellaro <Jsmortell@aol.com>
Date: Fri, 14 May 1999 11:09:29 EDT
Fwd Date: Sat, 15 May 1999 01:28:33 -0400
Subject: Re: New Face on Mars


>From: John W. Ratcliff <terryratcliff@worldnet.att.net>
>To: UFO UpDates - Toronto <updates@globalserve.net>
>Subject: Re: New Face on Mars
>Date: Thu, 13 May 1999 23:27:13 -0500

>>From: From: Jim Mortellaro <Jsmortell@aol.com>
>>Date: Wed, 12 May 1999 20:00:05 EDT
>>Subject: Re: New Face on Mars
>>To: updates@globalserve.net

>Dr. Jsmortell was able to assimilate my previous message and
>regurgitate the following fine commentary, replete with clever
>wordplay making dyslexic use of my common gutter slur of a given
>surname:

>>Gentle list folk and *Dr. Ratsnip,

>>Sir, may I offer my most sincere congratulations on your being
>>the ONLY ONE on this list to recognize the achievements of Dr.
>>Alfred E. Roscharch.  May I?  Huh?

>To which I feel compelled to reply with the following humble
>affirmation:

>Not only am I too lazy to use a spellchecker, I can't pronounce
>half of the large words I misspell either.

>AnatomicallyCorrectly Yours,

>John W. Ratcliff
>Xenophobic Warrior Princess

Now here are some very confusing factoids which Dr. Ratsinheimer
presents us with.... uh, with which Dr. Rathskeler presents us
... soory.  We have determined, by his own admission, that he
does _not_ use a speelchicker.  OK, we gots no problems with
that as Gesundt himself often becomes so excited over the
discovery of a new face on Mars and other body parts thereon,
that he too, just presses "Send" without the shspeelchickie.

But now, we are presented with the "possobility" that Dr.
Rutabega might be anatomically correct.  We say "might" because
obviously we at the Gripple Works have not seen a copy of his
body.  And, we are always looking for bodies to replace Julio or
Pia.... well, not Pia, she'll always remain in our parts ...
hearts ... as _THE_ body of choice.  However we've had requests
by some of our other friends for a new guy ...  most of these
have come from other guys. Presumably Julio is not as popular
with the guys as we imagined.

So we will grant Dr. John Rumplestilskin a _permanent_ Ph.D. if
his body is accepted by our anatomically correct staph ...
staff.  John, send us your body in a plain brown wrapper, or a
facsimili thereof on an 8X10 color glossy, showing all four
sides, top and bottom, and if it is accepted, you will get that
degree and a free telescope with which to see feces the way they
should be scene, with Grippls Dripple dripping thru your arm and
Red Gripple up your nose.

We can't think of any other ways to thank you.