UFO UpDates Mailing List
From: Jim Mortellaro <Jsmortell@aol.com> Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 15:00:13 EDT Fwd Date: Sat, 29 May 1999 13:47:54 -0400 Subject: Re: An Open Letter To A Friend, Jeff Rense... >Date: Mon, 31 May 1999 10:03:59 -0700 >From: Larry Hatch <larryhat@jps.net> >To: UFO UpDates - Toronto <updates@globalserve.net> >Subject: Re: An Open Letter To A Friend, Jeff Rense... Journalist >>From: Jim Mortellaro <Jsmortell@aol.com> >>Date: Sun, 30 May 1999 12:20:10 EDT >>Subject: Re: An Open Letter To A Friend, Jeff Rense... Journalist >>To: updates@globalserve.net >>I am reduced to a quivering mass of inert protoplasm. My >>reputations as Cheeser, Vintner, UFO publisher and inebriant are >>finished. My fresh wines are not selling well. People think I >>have come out of my security closet, the one I hide in and pass >>notes to my employees ... whenever the rest of the world goes >>mad. The one in which my non compos mentis ravings are well >>met. That place I go in order to receive messages from the tin >>foil hat I wear in there. >>I promise to answer all the private mail I've received, just >>give me some time... and please, stop sending the original to >>your friends... It's ruining my reputation as a ditsy dirt-bag. >>Jim >Dear Monsignor Mortadella, provider of salami, bologna and fresh >vintage wines: >Please stoppa disturbando mia Burpa. >You'a knocka dem suds off. >With the very best regards >- Larry > >PS: > >Further findings! >http://www.jps.net/larryhat/48yrs.html >If that doesn't work, navigate thru the Statistics Menu. >Otherwise, try Larry Hatches Burpa! It ain't exactly Grippa, >but it don't dye a guys stools Purpa. >[sorry] Never be sorry for Purple Stools... but you need to know something about Morte.... as in "Morte-llaro" and "Marte-della!" Oh my gawd! Everybody is gonna be sorry you said that.... Except me. I am now going into the Italian Deli meat business... say, what's an old sudzer like you with a name like Hatch know about Mortadella? Woof... will wonders never cease. I am driven to bedlam! And now for the rest of the story (with special thanks to Paul Harvey). Mortellaro... mortadella... "Morte" meaning death, is a part of both words. Mortadella is an Italian cold cut made (in original form) from blood. It's a little like German Bludvurst. It's got fat, blood, peppercorns, garlic and the "death or morte" part comes from the blood. Without blood.... you is dead! Anyway, about 28 years ago, my wife who is an artist, had a bad case of contact dermititis from some of the chemicals she was using. So off we went to the Grand Concourse (in the Bronx) to a dermatologist... this man is very Jewish... conservative. We get thru with the exam when he tells us how much he loves Italian culture. He turns out to be a student of Italian culture. He whips it out... ( Sorry, Cleavon Little is dead too) anyway, he whips out a huge, leather bound volume of names, all Italian. He aks (this is the Bronx, remember?) us if we know what Mortellaro means...? We say no, but it must have something to do with death, as that is the first word in the name. He looks it up and says, "Mortellaro is a bastardization of a word (which escapes me right now) which means "lives forever or Lack of death." It is the name of an evergreen tree indigeonous to the island if Sicily. And aks us for $50 and sends us on our way. So, just call me "Tree" or "everygreen". But ya dasn't hafta call me Johnson! Love, Jim... and thank you sir..... yet again. Dr. Jaime Gesundt, Fresh Wines, Cheeses, Publishing and now, Mortadella.. made with the blood of Alian Lizard Spawns... Neill Young used to milk blood to keep from running out. I milk it for my special Morty Mortedella con Gripple... and a splash of Burbal!
UFO UpDates - Toronto -
updates@globalserve.net
Operated by Errol Bruce-Knapp - ++ 416-696-0304
A Hand-Operated E-Mail Subscription Service for the Study of UFO Related
Phenomena.
To subscribe please send your first and last name to
updates@globalserve.net
Message submissions should be sent to the same address.
|
Link it to the appropriate Ufologist or UFO Topic page. |
Archived as a public service by Area 51 Research Center which is not
responsible for content.
Financial support for this web server is provided by the
Research Center Catalog.
Software by Glenn Campbell.
Technical contact:
webmaster@ufomind.com